Hi Folks,
One of the great challenges for all parents in today's complex world is raising our kids amidst the relentless attack on absolutes. Basics of good or bad, truth or lie, right or wrong have been examined and distorted through the lens of relativism so that we think we are free to make up our own minds on what previously had been an absolute. "What is right for me may not be right for you." "What is true for me may not be true for you." "It is all relative." Well, that my be "true" for how long you cook pasta - but it is so far off base for issues dealing with morality and ethics. There is no absolute right or absolute wrong - it is all relative to the time and people and circumstances involved. Wow - that kind of thinking sure makes our parenting job difficult.
As as aside, I believe strongly that one of the problems with violence in our society- including so many horrific massacres that have been so often in the news - is that through relativism, we have devalued life. We have said that it is all right to disagree on your thoughts and my thoughts on the value of life. With abortion and assisted suicide, with suicide bombers, with children being bought and sold, we have determined that some lives are worth more than others. When we devalue any life, we devalue all life. When we devalue any live, it does not mean as much to take a life.
I cringe at the hypocrisy of a demonstrator holding a "Save the Whales" sign and then having a "Right to Choose" bumper sticker on their car. In my opinion, that is relativism in a nutshell. Don't get me wrong - I am absolutely for saving the whales but I am also absolutely for saving babies. That is an absolute truth - life is precious and we should all do everything we can to protect and preserve it. It is one of the unalienable rights in one of America's most important documents - The Declaration of Independence - "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
We hold these TRUTHS to be self evident. Do we? Isn't the TRUTH relative?
One of our most important jobs as parents is to BUILD children of character - children with strong values and solid ethics. One of the most elementary is the ethic of truth. I wrote in a previous entry of a document I wrote for Keeley when she graduated from college - "Did I Ever Tell You...?"
In that document, I included, "Did I ever tell you to always be truthful. Honesty is one of the most important (and fragile) virtues. An honest life is one full of hope and light. Dishonestly brings darkness and despair. Honesty assures that you will always like the person who looks back at you in the mirror."
As parents, we need to be extremely intentional and persistent in teaching and modeling truth and honesty to our kids. We need to start at a young age and praise them when they are honest and have clear, laid out consequences for dishonest behavior. It is hard, and sometimes messy, work but our kids are worth it. We are dealing with what kind of lives they will have. We are preparing them to be adults and parents. Husbands and wives. Employers and employees. As I wrote to Keeley - an honest life is one of hope and light, dishonesty brings a life of darkness and despair.
And let's all endeavor everyday to teach and train that truth is absolute. There is no such thing as a "partial truth" or a little lie. We all want our kids to have lives of hope and light - let's work hard to raise honest children.
Scott Mennie
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