Wow - this is a great message from Steve and a really outstanding application at the end.
You all know I love family meetings - we had "formal" family meetings three times each year (start of school year, new year and start of summer). We talked about chores, curfews, driving, sleep overs, dating, jobs, college, responsibilities, attitudes - all kinds of stuff. We talked about consequences for poor decisions/behavior and consequences for good decisions/behavior. We talked about family rules and values. We talked about family priorities. Everyone got to talk and there was no time limit.
But Steve has gone one better (like he always did when he worked for me!!!!!!!!!). What a great exercise for each family member to confess their #1 family sin. If I were using that in one of our family meetings, I would open it up by saying, "At our family meeting, we are going to tell each other something you think you could do better in being part of this family."
Then, I would go first. By going first, I could set up the expectation that this is pretty serious and we want something of substance. I probably would have said something like this, "I need all of your help and God's help in being more patient with Kasey and Keeley. Far too often, I interrupt or jump to a conclusion or stop listening or start preaching or do something that cuts them off and makes them feel unimportant. I am so sorry I do that and I really need your help to stop doing that. You have my 100% permission to say, "Dad, you are not being patient with me." and I will shut up and pay attention!"
It's very important for our kids to know that we are not perfect. We make mistakes and we mess up. And, WE ARE NOT BETTER THAN THEY ARE. Read that again, WE ARE NOT BETTER THAN THEY ARE. We have more wisdom and experience. We have a God directed job to teach our kids and train them in the way they should go. But we also have a God directed job to not frustrate them and to 1 Coninthians 13 love them. How we deal with our own disagreements, poor decisions and behaviors sets an example for our children to see that 1. Mistakes and disagreements are allowed. 2. We learn from them. 3. The sun still comes up tomorrow and 4. We still love each other.
We ended every family meeting with a group prayer and then had Kasey and Keeley's favorite dinner (it changed as they grew older - from mac and cheese, to pizza, to crab legs to fondue - it's still fondue). Kasey and Keeley would take turns getting to choose.
Love your kids, listen to them, spend time with them. When we do that with our kids, they will do it with their kids.
Scott
LOVE ONE ANOTHER: Day 8 > > > Just as you are.
Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
If the President of the United States were coming to your house for dinner, I’m pretty sure your family would clean the house, take showers, brush & comb your hair, and put on some nice clothes. Not so with Christ. He accepts you and loves you just the way you are…and calls each of us to do the same for one another.
Accepting one another does not mean that we ignore unloving behavior…it means that we love each other well despite our unloving behavior. Christ forgave you and loves you even though you were and continue to be a sinner. Doesn’t it make sense that we should turn around and do the same for each other? After all, unlike Christ, each one of us far from perfect…so who are we to refuse to accept someone because of their imperfections?
We all do things wrong on a daily basis. Hopefully, as we get older and closer to Christ, those things will decrease and the loving things will increase. That is a road that we all must travel, so why not make the journey as pleasant as possible? It starts by loving and accepting one another, just as we are.
APPLICATION: Take time together as a family to confess your biggest family sins. Dad gets angry too much. Mom doesn’t have much patience. Sister is too quick to criticize and brother teases too much. You get the drill. After that, make a commitment to love and accept one another despite those sins, and pray that God would help all of you overcome them.
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