What makes a "good friend"?

Hi Friends!

 

The devotion below from my good friend Steve Noble (C2athisweek.org) is a great reminder to all parents on the importance of teaching our children (from a very young age) what makes a "good friend".  Selecting good friends is a role where we parents can have a huge impact.  First of all, let us model "friendship" with our spouse and our friends.  Secondly, we need to teach our kids how to be a good friend and what qualities make up a good friend.

 

 

Kasey and Keeley were always so excited when they met a new friend and Lisa and I shared their excitement.  God put us on earth to connect with others - to be in relationships.  Our kids can really benefit when we stay involved in their friendships.

 

Take some time to ask your kids who are their good friends and why?  What qualities do our kids look for in a friend (don't settle for "she is fun").  Use the "what three things" line of questioning:  "What are three things that you look for in a friend?"   "What are three things you have in common with your friend?"

 

Here is an acronym to help teach your kids what makes a good friend - teach this to your kids: 

A friend is someone who:

Forgives your mistakes and shortcomings

Respects who you are - does not try to make you into someone else

Inspires you to be the best you can be

Encourages you through difficult times

Never puts you in a dangerous, defiant or damaging situation

Defends you through good and bad times - always "has your back"

 

Lisa and I worked hard to know Kasey's and Keeley's friends (we still do).  When they were younger and loved spending time with friends, we always invited the new friend over to our house before Kasey or Keeley went to their house.  As you know, Lisa was the best kid taxi driver ever so she always went to pick up the new friend.  Then, when driving them to our house, she could listen to the conversation and ask general questions.  Once home, we made sure Kasey and Keeley introduced the new friend to both of us.  Having the new friend in our house for a few hours or overnight gave us plenty of time to listen and observe.  Then, after Lisa took the friend home, we had time to talk about the new friend with Kasey and Keeley.  AND, from time to time, we would continue to inquire about the new friend. 

 

When Kasey was in 6th grade, she had gone through a couple years of some very toxic friendships (the "tween" years are tough for daughters - and their parents!).  Lisa and I talked to Kasey often to help her through the difficult times and we prayed every day that God would bring Kasey a great friend.  One day, about halfway through her 6th grade year, Kasey came home with a gleam in her eyes, "I made a new friend today, dad."  she told me.  "Her name is Julia."  Julia changed Kasey's life.

 

Julia was the answer to our prayers and is still one of Kasey's most dear friends.  Lisa and I love Julia with all our hearts.  She saved our daughter and we have thanked God hundreds of times for bringing Julia to Kasey.

 

Just a few days ago, Kasey, now 26 years old, called me to tell me she had make a new friend named Kim.  She was so excited as she shared their first conversations and all they had in common.  She told me that she thought she and Kim could become really good friends.  With a tear in my eye and so much love in my heart, I thanked God for all He does every day for me an my family. 

 

A new friend - how wonderful!  I hope I never lose sight of that.

 

Love to all of you,

 

Scott Mennie

LOVE ONE ANOTHER (Day 13) > > > Friends & Family.

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

This is a powerful teaching when it comes to having a loving family because it brings to light the fact that our family members are not the only ones who play a part; our friends do, too.

The Book of Proverbs says, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” The type of friends we have plays a big role in determining what kind of people we become, but it also can impact our family life. Do your friends complain about their family? Do they have a negative attitude about brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, husbands and wives?

You can’t spend hours and hours around something or someone and not be impacted by it, either negatively or positively. Yes, you can be an encouragement to other people who are struggling with family life, but don’t be naïve – they can rub off on you, as well. Complaining, criticizing, anger, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness…this is a type of “bad company” the Apostle Paul is warning us about.

So, if you find yourself having a bad attitude about your family life, you might want to take a look at the company you are keeping. Their bad attitude might be turning into your own.

APPLICATION: Without naming names, discuss the friendships that you have outside of your family. Do they love and respect their own families, or do they spend a lot of time complaining about them? Pray together and ask God to give you the wisdom to make the right kinds of friends…as well as the wisdom to change course where needed.